glitter and gravel

Every Monday night I am faced with the same demanding question: should I watch The Bachelorette or not? And every Monday night I come to the same conclusion: absolutely.

Before you judge me too harshly, let me explain. There are three basic reasons why I watch The Bachelorette and why you should too. 

Number one, it’s a train wreck.  I probably don’t even have to explain this one. If you have ever seen the show (heck, if you have ever seen the PREVIEWS for the show), you know how ridiculous it can be (and mostly is). The current Bachelorette, Emily, is known as such a sweet single mom with a kind heart and so classy and perfect and beautiful and honest and lovely and great. I, on the other hand, can see right through her charade. I mean, yeah, I’m sure she is a lovely person. And yes, she’s beautiful (although, I’m fairly certain she has had some sort of plastic surgery), but something about her just rubs me the wrong way.

She’s very nice. And if we’re being honest (and we are), she’s too nice. Now, don’t get me wrong. You can’t be too nice to someone if you’re being honest with them at the same time. However, when you must choose between honesty and niceness, there’s a problem. I think Emily feels as if she must present herself in a noble, respectable way and be a “southern belle” of sorts. But I have seen, on more than one occasion, when Emily says one thing to the guys and another thing to the camera when she is being interviewed. This is not okay for a few reasons. One, it means you’re not being real. And when you’re begging the guys to be real with you and you’re not being real, that’s just not good. Number two, the guys you’re talking badly about are probably (more than likely) going to watch the show after it airs and they’re gonna be all like “Hey man, this girl is, like, not real.”

The second reason why I watch The Bachelorette is for the love story aspect. Even though this show rarely ends happily (after a few months), everyone loves to see a relationship unfold. If for no other reason it gives you hope for something more than potato chips and depressing movies for the rest of your life. 

Number three (and arguably the most important reason): it’s educational. The Bachelorette teaches you everything you should not do while in a relationship and/or looking for love.  When I see how the two parties interact on a date, I am reminded about how awkward I actually am. I do realize that editing has complete control over what the audience sees, but I still have a hard time believing these dates are in any way “normal.” Call me crazy, but I have never brought up marriage on the first date. Seems a little bit psychotic.

Another thing that I think you can learn from The Bachelorette is how not to kiss (at least in public). I cannot tell you how many times I have really liked a guy on that show until I see him offer up a smooch.  Ironically, this season, the guy whose kissing I found totally repulsive (Arie) was the same guy Emily couldn’t STOP kissing. Go figure.

In conclusion, go watch The Bachelorette (or not). Maybe you will learn something (or not);  and then maybe you can be the next bachelor or bachelorette (don’t do that).